Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Three Men, Three Dating Books, One Single Black Girl



Every morning when I drive to work, I listen to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. One day early last week, Shirley Strawberry and Steve were talking about an event Steve did the previous weekend and the plans that it will air on ABC's Nightline. It is a part of their "Face-off" series and this new discussion, which was filmed in Atlanta, is called "Why Can't A Successful Black Woman Find a Man?"

There was a panel for this event, which includes Jacque Reed and The View's Sherri Shepard. But the women didn't catch my attention (no disrespect to them). It was the men's portion of the panel that did. Including Steve, there was Hill Harper and jimi izrael.

As one of the 43 percent of the African American women who have yet to be married, I wanted to see what I can do so I won't be a part of that 43 percent anymore. And one of the things I did was read. So I read all three of the gentlemen's book I just mentioned.

I read Steve's book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man not too long after it was released last year. I enjoyed the book and it gave some ideas of how men think. But I didn't feel it was "OH MY GOD THIS WAS THE BEST DATING BOOK EVER" like some people did. I even know a person (my hairdresser) who didn't like it (she said it was for people my age). One of my male friends said that any man could have written Steve's book and he would glad to collect $25 for anyone who wants his advice on how black men think. Also, I know there are some people who are wondering why Steve has become the love guru even though he is on his third marriage. But he has made plenty of money off of it.

Then I read Hill's book. I'll admit: I loved The Conversation. I though it took Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man to a whole 'nother level. A lot of issues he mentioned made sense and he brought some good points on how both men and women should act on the dating scene. He also encouraged men and women to talk to each other about relationships. I also enjoyed the fact that he was willing to open up about his own relationship issues and how he was working through them with this book.

When I lived in Greenwood, I used to go to poetry readings. Whenever a poet would read a poem that had an angry tone, the host would say "ANGER" (emphasis on the er) after they were done. That kept coming to my mind while I was reading The Denzel Principle about a month ago. jimi is twice divorced to two Black women and is PISSED OFF. He refuses to put some of the blame on his failed relationships on himself. He disses everyone from Oprah to Bill Cosby and feels that Black women are looking for either thugs or sugar daddies. There are some things I agree with (like putting the President on a pedestal and how women can sabotage relationships), but they are few and far between.

So if you happen to be up around 11:30 EST, try to watch Nightline tonight. I'll probably be asleep, but hope to catch it in the morning. I look forward to what everyone has to say and if the men will try to emphasize what was in their books (or at least promote them).

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